Dear Pavel
by Sukuru
Summary: *Complete* An angsty little piece of fluff. (Su?C Slash: Mild: PG13 for language only....I promise....)
1. The Letter

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. . . And I'm pretty sure my Dad doesn't either. But, hey, you never know!  
  
~~  
  
To  
  
Chekov  
  
I watch you two together. You and Landon, I mean. Holding hands. . .cuddling. . .kissing. . . do you have any idea how much this hurts?  
  
I know how much you love her. Because that's how much I love you.  
  
But there's a difference. You love her because she's female. A pretty female too. I love you because you're my best friend. Because you're funny. Because you're you.  
  
Landon could never understand it. She told me herself.  
  
Yeah, she knows.  
  
I didn't tell her; she guessed. And told me to back off.  
  
I'm sorry if it looked like I was trying to make an advance on you.  
  
Because I know you can never love me mutually.  
  
Because I am me,  
  
Hikaru Sulu.  
  
Sulu looked down at the letter in his hands, then back up again at Chekov's door.  
  
He knew that Landon was in there.  
  
He turned away, dejected, then, in a sudden anger, tore the letter into little pieces, scattering them on the floor, and running away, tears brimming.  
  
[A/N] Just a little something I wrote on my PDA at lunch. 


	2. The Idea

------{The Idea}------  
  
Uhura yawned and stretched, blinking at her console in a bemused way. Nothing had come through all week.  
  
All month, in fact.  
  
She looked over at the calendar. February tenth. Something important was going to happen soon.  
  
What was it?  
  
She shut her eyes and tried to think.  
  
Which wasn't easy seeing as though it was Lieutenant DeSalle that had been left in charge, and was yelling at some Ensign that'd accidentally spilt something on his workstation when the ship had jolted due to a temporary power glitch.  
  
She re-opened them when she heard the Turbo Lift doors swish open, and smiled at Sulu when he shuffled through. She stopped upon sighting his face, however, and frowned at the sad eyes and tousled hair.  
  
She knew that look. He'd been drinking long into the night and was hung over/still partially drunk.  
  
She also knew why. Apart from Landon, she was the only other female (no, wait, only other person) on the ship who knew about his.'affection' for his work partner.  
  
She also knew that it was impossible for them to ever have anything else other than a friendship. A strained friendship at the best of times; because Landon knew of Sulu's 'affection', she tried to keep Pavel away from him as much as possible, sometimes using excuses, other times using downright bitchiness straight in Hikaru's face.  
  
Uhura felt a light bulb illuminate itself above her head like in the old cartoons they sometimes showed on a Thursday in the Rec. Room. If that day was February Tenth, then in four days time, it would be February Fourteenth! Valentines Day!  
  
She sat up slightly higher in her chair and beamed, giving herself a mental pat on the back for remembering something other than the fact hat frequency no. 10 had been hacked by the Romulans.  
  
She didn't bother looking up as the Lift doors swished open again, revealing a Pavel who was in a worse state than his Asian friend. She was, in fact, only alerted when DeSalle sapped,  
  
"Mr. Chekov, would you please dress yourself properly when you enter the Bridge! What is this, a Starfleet ship or a pleasure cruiser?"  
  
"A Starfleet wessel." The dejected Navigation officer muttered, smoothing down the front of his shirt self-consciously, "sorry, sair."  
  
DeSalle's face formed a temporary sneer at the sound of the strong Russian accent, but was almost instantly replaced by a simpering smile as Kirk walked onto the Bridge with Yeoman Rand. "Morning sir," He greeted, "did you have a nice night?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. DeSalle," Kirk drew a mental picture in his head of string DeSalle from the ceiling and kicking him to death, "you're relived. You can carry on with your normal duties now."  
  
"Aye." The smirking Lieutenant left, the Captain feeling everyone breathe a sigh of relief.  
  
Hikaru looked over at Pavel, who was now seated at the Helm next him, "hey, what's up?"  
  
The Ensign scowled slightly and shook his head, checking the course adjustments Riley had made on his shift, "nothink. Absolutely nothink."  
  
"Sir," Uhura looked up at Kirk, "do you know what the day is in four days time?"  
  
"Feb. 14th?"  
  
"Yes.Valentine's Day, sir," The young African smiled, "um.I was wondering something."  
  
"Yes, what is it?"  
  
"Well.we could have a Valentines Day Dance, couldn't we? After everyone's shifts are over and done with, I mean. Maybe?"  
  
"Yes," Kirk nodded, "that'd be fun."  
  
"We could make it more fun.we could make it couples only too! Er.maybe?" She added on the end, feeling herself blush slightly.  
  
"Yes, alright." Kirk nodded again, "alright then. I'll leave you to organise it." Hikaru sighed and shook his head.  
  
Oh, great. Couples only. Why doesn't she just stand up and jab him through the heart with a butter knife? 


	3. The Dance

------{The Dance}------  
  
Everyone got excited about the dance.  
  
Save two people. And they sat side-by-side on the Bridge, not saying anything to each other, just sitting there and following orders.  
  
These were the depressed.  
  
"Stupid vomen," Sulu distinctly heard Pavel mutter at lunch when they sat eating their Replicated meals.  
  
"What about them?" The Helmsman asked, picking at another bit of sushi with no particular interest. That day was one of the days when Landon was leaving him be. And now, Pavel didn't want to talk to him.  
  
"Who?" Pavel snapped, glaring at his friend.  
  
"Er.you just said, 'stupid women', and I asked 'what about them?'"  
  
"None of your business!" The Russian snapped angrily, getting up and stalking off, not even stopping to take his tray to the waste chute.  
  
The Asian blinked at the empty chair for a few seconds, then shrugged and carried on with his meal, assuming that Landon and Pavel were going through a temporary glitch.  
  
None of his business, really.  
  
*  
  
February 14th  
  
Everyone was allowed to leave the bridge half an hour early to get ready for the Dance, clearly showing that the Captain was in a good, giving mood. He didn't even complain when Hikaru was fifteen minutes late that morning.  
  
Pavel hadn't spoken to the pilot since the lunchtime incident four days ago. He was in what Uhura described as 'a teenagers hormonal mood swing thingy'.  
  
"See you at the dance then," Uhura smiled at Sulu in the Turbo Lift that would, because it was told to, take them down to Deck Four, the habitation deck.  
  
"Er, no, actually, you wont." Sulu shook his head, "couples only, remember?"  
  
"Oh.I'm sorry! I wouldn't have made it like that if I'd remembered.I'm sorry!"  
  
"It's okay. You can't ruin one evening for one guy."  
  
"Two." Uhura whispered.  
  
"What?" He glanced at her quizzically, "what d'you mean?"  
  
"Pavel. Didn't you know what happened?"  
  
"No. All I know is that he's not talking to me."  
  
"Oh. Well, Landon went to see him five days ago, with Liam, and it turns out she's been having an affair with him and she's pregnant. Silly cow."  
  
Sulu stared at her, then sighed, "oh, sheese."  
  
"I know." Uhura shook her head, "and I though she really liked him too."  
  
Sulu stuffed his hands in his pockets*, then shook his head like she'd done a few minutes before, "learn from your mistakes I suppose." The doors opened and he smiled at his girl-friend, "well, see you tomorrow."  
  
"See you."  
  
He sauntered back to his quarters, then sat on his bed and stared blankly at the wall.  
  
"Oh, well," he couldn't help but think, "at least Landon's out of MY life."  
  
Then he thought, "okay. I'm a nasty friend and a stupid person. How could I think ike that when Pavel's probably lying on his bed crying his eyes out.actually, he's quite cute when he cries. arugh. I'm schizophrenic. Half evil half good."  
  
Around twenty minutes later he became aware of a great mass of people charging past his door, probably desperate to get to the Rec. Room early. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.  
  
"Stupid people," He whispered aloud, "it's only a dance. Why get so excited about a dance?" Then Uhura's voice echoed in his ears, "couples only."  
  
"Oh, right couples." He reminded himself, "the single most important thing in the Universe." After around an hour, he got bored and decided to go to the Mess to get a slice of pizza.  
  
The corridors of the Enterprise were strangely deserted. 437 people crammed into three joining rooms. Weird.  
  
He walked into the Mess, ordered himself some pizza, and only then noticed someone sitting at the table by the huge plate glass window, stars zipping across it's surface.  
  
"Hi," He said cautiously to Pavel, who was stirring his spoon again and again in a mug of stone cold tea, "how long've you been here?"  
  
"Vhat's it to you?" The young man asked without taking his eyes off the outside view, "hmm?" "Well.nothing. No reason. None at all." Hikaru turned to leave.  
  
"Vait," Pavel's soft voice called across the Mess, "vait. I'm sorry. I.I didn't mean to be rude, I just.I haven't had much sleep lately," he explained flatly, "I'm sure you know vhy. It's all ower the ship. Can't keep her stupid mouth shut for seex seconds, can she?"  
  
"Well.no, she can't," Hikaru agreed, pausing by the Mess door, "but, hey, we're all different." "No offence," Pavel continued without even hearing him, "but leaffing those scraps of that letter outside my door didn't really help too much."  
  
Hikaru felt a blush creep up his cheeks, "oh.er.I'm.um.sorry." He said weakly, "sorry." "It's okay. It vasn't your fault. It vas mine. I didn't pay attention to her, I didn't buy her anythink-"  
  
"What's buying someone something got to do with a relationship?" Hikaru cut in angrily, "oh, she's so selfish! Breaking up with you just because you wouldn't buy her anything!" His tone was thickly laced through with anger.  
  
"Really?" Pavel looked a little stunned, "oh. I thought I had to.bekaus.well, bekaus women like gifts.."  
  
"I wouldn't know what women like," Hikaru muttered, "but I do know you aren't supposed to love someone because they buy you presents."  
  
"Vhy d'you love me then?"  
  
"What?" He looked up, startled.  
  
"I said, 'vhy do you love me, then?'. Vhy do you?"  
  
Hikaru blushed and looked away from his friend at the inviting corridor, "er.I.Chekov, I."  
  
The young Russian stood up and walked slowly over to his friend, blinking in the light of the passage beyond the door, "there must be a reason."  
  
"Of course there is," Sulu surprised himself by not stuttering, "it's just that.er.I.I can't."  
  
He sensed Pavel's attention span start to wane, the Navigator turning away from him and blinking at a nearby table instead, "vell.if you ken't say it in vun full sentence vhy don't you.tell me vhat you like about me."  
  
"Er.." The next thing Hikaru said was a complete mistake, "your hair?"  
  
It was the truth. The first thing you couldn't help but notice was the new- ish recruit's hair.  
  
Hikaru knew he'd said the wrong thing immediately when he saw the amount of hurt and rage that suddenly seared through Pavel's eyes, "oh, right, so the only thing you like about me is my hair? Vell, that's just great!" His voice was full of sarcasm, "vhat's next? My nails? My eyes? My feet?"  
  
"Pavel, look-"  
  
"No! You look! You're just like Landon! The only thing she liked about me vas my eyes at first! I don't ewen think you know anythink about me, do you?"  
  
"Yes I do!" Hikaru protested, "you like that old band. Abba. Dancing Queen."  
  
"Shut up!" Chekov shouted, "Eweryvun knows I like Abba. Ewen DeSalle knows! It's not exactly like you had to sit and haff lunch vith me and haff a huge discussion about museek to find it out! You just haff to sit next to m on the Bridge long enough for me to accidentally start humming it vun day! You know vhat, Hikaru Sulu? I hate you!"  
  
As if the atmosphere of the heated row demanded it, Pavel threw his empty mug as hard as he could at Hikaru. The Asian ducked before it could hit him, causing it to sail into the corridor and smash against the opposite wall.  
  
"Pavel, I-"  
  
"Get out! I newer vant to see you in off-duty time again! Get out!" 


	4. The Fight

------{The Fight}------  
  
Hikaru was still in a partial state of shock when he turned up for duty the next morning. He'd never really thought Pavel as the type to start a blazing row over a compliment! Over a Russian invention, sure, it was almost as if it was his nature, but over a silly thing like that?  
  
'Although,' The Helmsman soliloquised freely in his head as he sat at his station, ignoring Uhura's glance, 'it's not really stupid, is it? It's. . .strange. Really strange. He didn't tell me it had to be his likes/dislikes, did he? He just said, 'tell me what you like about me' and I did. It was the first thing that leapt into my stupid brain.'  
  
He felt a slight pang in his chest and tried to blank it out by checking some reports Ensign Chenna had left on his station the previous night, but, instead of going away, the pain just got stronger, forcing his eyes to water. He wiped his hand across his face as discreetly as he could, but the Comm Officer was watching even the slightest of movements he made.  
  
She remembered last night, after the dance, she'd gone back to her quarters to find Pavel sitting on her bed, looking like he'd just. . .killed someone?  
  
"What's wrong?" Had been the first words out of her mouth. He'd looked up, his brown eyes brimming, then ducked his head, given a shuddering sigh and shaking it subtly. But Uhura wasn't stupid. She knew what a head-shake like that meant.  
  
"Who upset you?" She demanded, sitting beside him, "was it Landon? Liam?"  
  
"No," The answer was thickly choked, "it vas."  
  
"It was?"  
  
"It vas Hikaru," The young man relented eventually, allowing tears to fall down his cheeks, "and I think Iff made a terrible mistake. . ." He explained the exchange he and his friend had had in the Mess only a few hours previously, then ended with, "I made a big deal about nothing, didn't I?" "Well.sort of. I suppose. I mean, he was complimenting you in a way, wasn't he?"  
  
"I guess. . .but not in the vay I vanted to be complimented." He let out a soft sob, "oh, vhat am I goink to do?"  
  
"Pretend your still upset with him whilst I word something out?" Uhura guessed, "but don't be nasty. Just ignore him, I'll figure something, don't worry."  
  
"Vhat if he tries to make up vith me though?"  
  
"Say you'll think about it."  
  
"Alright. Thanks, Uhura."  
  
She frowned and shook her head, blinking down at Sulu, wondering what she could do. Once again she'd made a promise she felt she couldn't keep.  
  
'Trust me,' She thought, 'now I've gone and screwed something up.'  
  
The Lift doors swished open and deposited a very tired-looking Pavel onto the Bridge. T wasn't the first time that week that his eyes were shadowed by bruise-like blackness.  
  
He smiled weakly at Uhura, who gave him a reassuring look, then went and sat at his station like usual, logging in his arrival on the Bridge and service number.  
  
Once again the morning was unusually dull, the ship surrounded by uninhabited space, a vast stretch of boredom.  
  
Just before lunch it was announced that there was tonnes of 'party food' left over from the previous night, and if anyone wanted that instead of boring Replicated food they could go to Rec. Room One and 'pig out', to which Spock almost immediately corrected the messenger that no-one on board was a pig and that he didn't see how this was remotely possible.  
  
Of course, almost everyone went to Rec. Room One, thinking that junk food was better than. non-junk food, the result being that the room was crammed with people, packed together like sardines.  
  
Riley and Bailey, former Navigators of the Enterprise, met Sulu at the door, Riley carrying an extra plate laden with food, which he gave to the Pilot without saying anything, mostly because it was too loud, and the three made their way over to a table occupied only by DeSalle at one end.  
  
The trio sat at another.  
  
"Oi!" Someone yelled out from somewhere in the throng, "Uhura, don't we get no music!"  
  
"Yeah, come on," Yelled a female voice, "we can't have party food without party music."  
  
Hikaru shuddered: it was Liam and Landon. He looked around quickly to see if he could catch sight of Pavel, and did. The young man was talking with Uhura at the other end of the hall.  
  
"Alright," Uhura shouted, "there's a minidisk in the player. Just hit play."  
  
Someone did, and the hall was instantly filled with a techno base line. Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief: now there was no need to make conversation with anyone. It was a physical impossibility. The music raged on for another half an hour, and, when it ran out, the noise level did nothing to decrease. It was like an animal house.  
  
Things seemed to be going well for a while, then a high taunting voice sang over the crowd, "aww, look, Chekov's upset that Abba wasn't on the disk!"  
  
As if hundreds of invisible hand had clamped themselves over everyone's mouths, the room fell deathly silent.  
  
Pavel shifted a little on his feet but ignored the voice, counting to ten in his head and squeezing his cup a little harder.  
  
"S'matter, a broken heart causes broken hearing?" The mocking tone continued, "or are you just trying to ignore me 'cause you're gonna cry?"  
  
The crowd of people parted slightly to reveal Liam, hands on hips, next to Landon, who was smirking evilly.  
  
Pavel looked up at the pair, then shrugged and tried to look somewhere else. His searching gaze fell on Sulu, who was scowling at Liam in almost a murderous way. The young Russian felt a slight ache in his chest. He blinked it back, his eyes firmly fixed on the side of the Helmsman's face, willing him not to start any trouble.  
  
Too late.  
  
"Shut up Liam," Hikaru's voice carried across the hall, "how many girls have you got pregnant this month, eh?"  
  
"Shut up gay-boy," Liam snapped back, "at least I do get girls-" He stopped, suddenly realising what Hikaru had just tricked him into saying, "shut up, Sulu! You don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
"I'm talking to hormonally charged stupid boy who can't keep his libido to himself," Hikaru replied casually, taking a swig from his mug and blinking at Liam docilely, "no, wait, that would be me under-exaggerating again, wouldn't it?"  
  
Liam gave an angry grunt and stalked over to where the Asian sat. He grabbed Sulu's collar and hoisted him to his feet, "you don't know what you're talking about, do you, Sulu?" His voice was filtered with mock- kindness, like a mother talking to an infant that had just spilt Ribena in their lap, "do you?"  
  
"Yes." Hikaru said simply.  
  
Liam let him go, then swung his fist back, at the same time Pavel shouted, "duck!" and Sulu kicked his between the legs. The 'petulant teenager'-like man sank to his knees, clutching himself and hissing cussing under his breath.  
  
He got back to his feet, and went to take another half-hearted blow at the Japanese man, who wasn't the only one who'd seen Kirk walk into the Rec. Room with Spock and McCoy.  
  
"Liam Gallagher, what do you think you are doing?" Kirk asked. Even though his voice was soft and quiet, it seemed to dominate the small room, echoing off the metal walls.  
  
Liam had frozen in time, his fist in mid-air, staring at the Captain.  
  
Uhura, upon sensing what was going to inevitably happen, had contacted the Bridge and urged the Captain to the Rec. Room - before Sulu could be carted to Sick Bay in a coffin.  
  
"I. . .He. . .We. . ." Liam stuttered, shuffling his feet on the floor, "well, you see, I. . ."  
  
"No," The Captain said with a falsely bright smile on his face, "I do not see. You know about the regulations on fighting."  
  
"What regulations?" Liam unfroze himself, then glared at Kirk menacingly.  
  
"The ones set in place after the incident at Space Station K-7," The Captain reminded him coolly, "after that bar brawl broke out? Remember?"  
  
Pavel shifted his feet a little guilty; he'd assisted in starting that fight, and it seemed to him that he was the cause for this one.  
  
"Yes," Liam spat between clenched teeth, "I remember."  
  
"Good!" Kirk exclaimed, "then you can go to your quarters and stay there for the next week. And after that you can consider yourself on cleaning duty in Engineering."  
  
"Cleaning duty?" Liam echoed blankly.  
  
"Yes," Ensign Chenna spoke up from the back, "you have to clear out the tubes around the Warp Core. Gets a little hot after a while. . . "  
  
There were a few giggles from around the hall. Landon looked like she wanted to kill someone. She looked around the room until her eyes landed on Chekov, who was standing next to the Captain as though for protection.  
  
"Y'know what?" She said, aware that she was digging herself into trouble, "I think I know why Chekov joined Star Fleet now. Because his parents didn't want to be on the same planet as him. And I can understand why. I can barely stand being in the same room as him, correction, same galaxy." She turned to Chekov again, "you're ugly, stupid, a patriot of a lost cause, and homosexual!" At the last word, a gasp ran around the hall. Everyone's eyes were on the young navigator now, who had turned magenta and had tears behind his eyes - tears that were quite visible due to the brightness of the lights.  
  
Kirk looked round at him too, one eyebrow slightly raised. Upon catching the Ensign's expression, he turned back to Landon and said, "Well, well, Miss. Landon. If he is a homosexual, then why did you date him? Because, surely, to a woman of such intellect of yours should have been able to spot that a mile away."  
  
Landon flushed and opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Spock, "Captain. I think that Mr. Gallagher would like some company in the pipes, and I also think we have find ourselves a suitable volunteer. What is your opinion, Doctor?"  
  
"Oh, yes," McCoy's southern drawl the debate, "yes, I think Miss. Landon would love to go into the pipes."  
  
"I can't; I'm pregnant." Landon whipped back with a triumphant smile.  
  
"Yes, but you'll be okay to work in there for another three months or so. Doctor's opinion anyway. Jim?"  
  
"Yes." The Captain nodded, "alright. Miss. Landon and Mr. Gallagher, you will each be confined to quarters for a week, then will work in the pipes in Engineering for three months."  
  
"You can't," Landon pointed at him, "that's got to be illegal!"  
  
"Afraid not." Kirk pointed at the door, "out. To. Your. Quarters. Now." The two left in a huff, muttering under their breaths and cursing the day they ever joined the Enterprise.  
  
"Well," Kirk looked back at everyone else, "because of that minor interruption, I think I should extend the lunchtime a little to get a few matters sorted out."  
  
As the conversation level rose back up to normal, Kirk turned to talk to Chekov. But the young Russian had already gone. 


	5. The End

------{The End}------  
  
As soon as Kirk had noticed Pavel had left, so had Sulu. He dashed past the Captain and out into the corridor, wondering which way his (ex)friend had gone.  
  
He wouldn't have guessed right either had he not seen the shattered remains of a glass to the left of him. Sensing that was the way he'd gone, the Asian pursued the trial of broken glass and cola stains.  
  
Pavel was just a little way ahead, leaning on a wall, his back to the corridor that led to the Rec. Room.  
  
From the way his shoulders were shaking and the way he had both of his hands clasped over his face, Hikaru made a quick judgement that he was crying. Quite hard too.  
  
He approached the young man cautiously, then placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.  
  
Pavel didn't even try to flinch away: he was too tired. Tired of running away from help, kindness, friendship.he'd been running all of his life. Why bother running any more when everything he ever needed or wanted was standing right behind him, trying to help?  
  
But then the other half of his brain struggled it's way through the firewall he'd managed to hold throughout the morning and shouted, "you've got to be kidding! Hikaru? What has he ever done for you except hurt you and ignore you and break you up with Landon? You know the real reason she broke up with you; she said it just now. She knew he liked you, she knew you were gay and she knew you weren't going to tell anyone so SHE HAD TO TELL EVERYONE FOR YOU!" Pavel clutched his ears and sank down to his knees, suddenly feeling the pressure he hadn't felt in the Rec. Room when everyone had stared at him aghast at the news.  
  
No-one had ever thought that he could be 'that way'. No one. It was like hearing Jesus was a Hindu, or Hitler was a humanitarian.  
  
"Pavel?" Hikaru had knelt beside him, "you okay?"  
  
"Go avay." Pavel snapped, folding his hands in his lap. Hikaru hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder, then pulled it back as Pavel almost screamed, "look, just leaff me alone! Vhy ken't eweryvun just leaff me be? Just because I'm different, just because I have a stupid haircut, just because I'm Russian and have an annoying accent some people discard me causing others to try and help. Vell, I don't vant any help! From anyvun! I just vant to curl up and die and I vish eweryvun vould just let me get on vith it!" At the end he burst into a fresh volley of tears, pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.  
  
Sulu watched him with something close to affection, border-lined with consternation, thinking how much like an upset child Pavel looked.  
  
"Why?" He asked eventually, running his fingers lightly across the span of the young man's shoulders.  
  
"Vhy vhat?" Came the gulped answer.  
  
"Why don't you want anyone's help? Why do you never want anyone's help?"  
  
"Because.no vun has ewer tried to give me help before. My parents newer helped me. My teachers pretty much gave up on me. None of my relatives liked me. And.up until you and Uhura, I newer had any friends who could help me." Pavel's tone had calmed, and it was like he was in a trance whilst he spoke, "I don't ewen know vhat help is."  
  
Another pang, the largest yet, sot itself through Hikaru's heart, and he reached out and put his arm around Pavel, who didn't even try to resist that time. In fact, he shifted a bit closer and lent his head gently against the alcove between Hikaru's head and neck, a little shyly.  
  
"If you don't know what help is," Sulu said after a pause, "why won't you let anyone show you?" "Fear of the unknown?" Pavel stared at the wall opposite them, "I assumed it vas a bad thing seeing as though no-vun used it in my childhood."  
  
"You must have had a pretty bad childhood then." Hikaru stated without really thinking about it. "Yes." Chekov sounded a little defensive, "so vhat if I did? Lots of people do. No-vun has a perfect childhood, no-vun." His voice had taken on an angry pitch.  
  
"That's not what I meant." Hikaru explained patiently, "I meant that you mustn't have had that many people who cared about you."  
  
"I had vun. And she died vhen I as two." Pavel mumbled, feeling yet more tears well up, "oh, god, not again."  
  
He used his shirtsleeve to mop them away, then pulled away from Sulu, as comfortable as it was, and stood up, "I think ve're due back on duty. I ken hear people valking this vay." He said stiffly. "Thank you, Spock." Sulu muttered sarcastically, "alright. But."  
  
"Vhat?"  
  
"Why did you go out with Landon if you knew you were gay?"  
  
"Because.I vas tryink to prove to myself I vasn't.dad alvays said that gay guys vere stupid and pointless.I believed him too, until I found out I vas a gay guy, that is. I figured I could.trick myself straight if I vent out vith enough girls. But.it didn't vork. I fell for somevun else. Somevun who vasn't..female."  
  
"Oh really?" Sulu asked mildly, feeling a little jolt of excitement, "who?"  
  
Pavel seemed to hesitate for a second, then said, "fifth vowel."  
  
"Fifth vowel?" Sulu echoed as Pavel walked up to him, "A, E, I, O-"  
  
"U." Pavel whispered, looping his arms around Sulu's neck and kissing his cheek, "in other vords, You."  
  
THE END 


End file.
